Managing employees inevitably involves addressing uncomfortable but necessary topics. For leaders striving to reach their full potential, navigating these difficult conversations effectively is an essential skill. While many people initially find such discussions daunting, with practice and the right approach, these interactions can become more manageable.
3 Keys to Success
1. Practice Makes Perfect
Handling tough conversations is like developing a muscle. At first it might feel uncomfortable, but consistent practice leads to improvement. Frequent engagement with these situations helps build confidence and refine communication skills, making future conversations smoother and more productive.
2. Don’t Stockpile Issues
Avoiding uncomfortable conversations by stockpiling minor issues can lead to a breaking point, often resulting in termination. Addressing problems as they arise allows employees the opportunity to correct their behavior, which is both kinder and more constructive for all parties involved. Most employees would prefer to be informed of issues promptly rather than unknowingly continuing problematic behaviors.
3. Assume Positive Intent
Approaching conversations with the assumption that employees want to perform well sets a constructive tone. Begin by evaluating whether expectations were clearly communicated. For example, if an employee is not adhering to a dress code, their supervisor can consider whether they were made aware of the policy. They can start the conversation with clarity and understanding, which fosters a collaborative resolution.
For example, if it’s noticed that a member of the front-office staff is wearing tennis shoes, which is not in line with your dress code, what does assuming positive intent look like? Perhaps, because their feet are under the desk most of the day, they feel like their shoes don’t matter. However, this casual dressing doesn’t represent the office’s brand.
The conversation can be started with the benefit of the doubt. In the case of a dress code, the hard question can be asked, “Did I communicate my expectations?” If not, the conversation is easy: “Hey, Julie, I might not have mentioned our dress code. Here it is in our handbook. Would you give it a read and let me know if you have any questions?”
If it becomes clear that they do know what to do and they just aren’t doing it, the situation becomes more complicated. Let’s look at ways to handle this.
4 Common Conversation-Starter Pitfalls
When initiating a difficult conversation, certain approaches can hinder progress. Here are four pitfalls to avoid:
- Being too vague: Phrasing like, “How’s it going? Is there something wrong today?” fails to address the core issue. Instead, be direct and specific about the concern.
- Using the compliment sandwich: This method of sandwiching criticism between compliments can dilute the message and create confusion about the desired change.
- Being too soft: Statements like, “It would be nice if you could wear dress shoes to work” lack the firmness necessary to convey an expectation.
- Over-scripting: Rigidly adhering to a prewritten script can hinder genuine interaction and understanding, making the conversation feel mechanical rather than authentic.
Proven Strategies for Success
A structured approach often leads to better outcomes. One effective method involves focusing on three key elements — what, how, and why — followed by an invitation for dialogue.
Simple example
Scenario: An employee consistently wears tennis shoes, a violation of the dress code.
- What: “I notice you’ve been wearing tennis shoes to work.”
- How: “Moving forward, please wear black or blue closed-toe flats.”
- Why: “Maintaining a professional appearance is essential to representing our brand.”
- Question: “Do you have any questions or concerns about this policy?”
This structure provides clarity while inviting the employee to share their perspective, fostering a collaborative environment.
A More Complicated Example
Scenario: An employee neglects to ask patients for referrals.
- What: “I noticed you didn’t ask a patient if they knew someone who could benefit from our services.”
- How: “Next time, please ask if they had a great experience and, if so, whether they know someone who might benefit. Offer them a card to pass along.”
- Why: “Referrals are a key source of new patients, benefiting the entire team and helping you meet your goals.”
- Question: “What questions do you have about incorporating referrals into conversations?”
If the employee expresses uncertainty, address their concerns directly and collaboratively. For instance, if they’re unsure about timing, establish a signal to clarify when referral requests are appropriate.
Disciplinary Steps
If issues persist despite constructive conversations, a formal disciplinary process may be necessary.
- Verbal warning: Address the issue and document the conversation without explicitly labeling it as a “verbal warning.” Follow up with a written recap for clarity.
- Written warning: Document repeated issues, outline expectations, and specify potential consequences. Review the document with the employee and obtain their acknowledgment.
- Final warning: Clearly state that further infractions will result in termination. Ensure the employee understands the gravity of the situation.
A Final Thought
Documenting conversations is critical. Clear records ensure accountability and support fair decision-making. By approaching difficult conversations with preparation, empathy, and a structured framework, leaders can foster a positive and productive workplace.
Managing challenging discussions can be tricky, but you don’t have to face it alone. Audigy specializes in providing support tailored to your business. From guidance on effective communication to comprehensive HR solutions, we’re here to help your practice thrive.